Spiritually Disconnected and Wondering Who We Are
The other day, I was sitting at one of my favourite coffee shops in Kitsilano with an americano and an “Everyday Cookie” – that’s the name of the cookie, and they’re my absolute favourite. (They’re made by a local place in Kits and sold at many places around the city. Whenever I’m at a coffee shop that sells the Everyday Cookie, I have to get one.)
I sit down, pop in my headphones, start listening to my friend’s voice notes, dip my cookie in my coffee, and … a big chunk falls in. I smiled, sipped my coffee, and thought: what a beautiful reminder that sometimes the unexpected things in life are what make life so sweet.
After listening to my friend’s voice notes and feeling as though we just had coffee together in person even though we live miles and miles away from each other, I brought out my laptop and started to write. A flower was blowing in the wind right in front of my computer. I smiled, stopped typing, and thought: Sometimes what might be in the way is meant to be there. Sometimes it’s beautiful. A kind of beauty we might miss if we don’t slow down. A kind of beauty we might not appreciate if we forget to be in relation with everything around us.
I believe life is filled with constant reminders from Creator (Universe, God, Spirit, Source, the Divine, etc.). It’s filled with magic, mystery, and connection – all we have to do is pay attention. (Throughout this post I offer the term Creator. If it doesn't resonate with you or your belief system, please replace it with anything else that does, such as Universe, God, Spirit, Source, the Divine, etc.)
When I say, all we have to do is pay attention, here’s what I really mean:
If we’re looking to cultivate a connection with Creator, I don’t know if that’s a connection that needs to be “cultivated” in the first place. I believe it’s something that’s already there, something that’s always been there, it just needs to be remembered. It’s a connection that already exists and needs to be nurtured.
I think a lot of us in the world are yearning for this connection with ourselves and the world around us – we just don’t quite know how to access it. We want to remember it, we want to nurture it, and a lot of us are trying to. We’re buying all the self-help books and books on Spirituality, working with therapists, coaches, body workers, astrologers, psychics, pulling Oracle cards, practicing meditation, signing up for art classes, journaling, and maybe even some of us are exploring powerful Medicines that bring us into altered states of consciousness in hopes of finding this connection that I’m talking about.
But I don’t know if it’s really about “finding” it. In order to find something it must be lost. I don’t think our connection with Creator is as much “lost” as it is forgotten, therefore I think it’s more about remembering rather than finding. So my invitation is to stop looking – there’s nothing to be found. Stop looking in books, to other practitioners, to Medicines outside of the brilliant Medicine you have within yourself, and start remembering. I also want to share, and perhaps reassure you, that books, other practitioners, meditation, journaling – and all that good stuff – is wonderful and very helpful. I’m not saying don’t turn to them for support. I’m inviting you to stop looking and hoping to find something. Instead, turn to these things with the intention that they will support you in a way of awakening to your own wisdom. Rather than looking to books or therapists for answers, welcome the intention that these tools and practitioners will help bring forth an answer from within yourself.
So, if our connection with Creator isn’t lost, just forgotten, how do we remember?
Trust me, I wish I could write this as a “How To” post with four simple steps that are sure to work. I genuinely wish it was that easy and a post like that existed. I wish I could share it with my 15-year-old self, because she really needed it.
Working in the Wellness space for over a decade has shown me how Spiritually disconnected we are. Physical health has always been at the forefront. It’s easy to see and measure, and in our colonized world run by capitalism, if something is easy to see and measure, there’s greater value placed on it. Mental and Emotional health gets more acknowledgement than it used to, which is amazing, but I’d say we still have a long way to go. When it comes to Spiritual health, it’s often mocked or not taken seriously. The ones who are curious often don’t feel safe to explore it because of mockery and fear of being invalidated and rejected. Capitalism thrives on our lack of trust in ourselves. It thrives on our limiting beliefs like, “I am not enough.” To nourish our Spiritual health would lead us back to our deep inner knowing that we are whole and enough just as we are. It would lead us back to trusting our own wisdom. When we believe in ourselves and trust ourselves, we’re powerful beyond measure. Capitalism doesn’t love that so much, which is why we’re in the predicament that we are – Spiritually disconnected and wondering who we are.
I believe it’s important to know why and how our connection with Creator was forgotten in order to remember. I guess if there was a “How To” post with four easy steps, one of the first steps might be acknowledging why and how it’s been forgotten and why and how it continues to remain that way. When we acknowledge colonization, capitalism, and the social context in which we exist, we can better understand why we might be feeling a great disconnect within ourselves or the world around us, and it can help reduce the shame we might feel.
If we pretend that was step one, I think step two might look like “getting back on that Spiritual path” (or path where we feel most connected with ourselves). I believe life itself is the Spiritual path. Getting back on the path is as simple as remembering we’re already on it. The hard part is remaining present with it. I don’t think Spiritually is something we need to strive for, cultivate, or achieve. I don’t believe there are specific ways we must be, certain things we must do. When I was younger, I used to think “Spiritual” people couldn’t drink alcohol, couldn’t drink coffee, couldn’t eat meat, must meditate everyday, they definitely don’t watch shows like Too Hot To Handle and Love Island, they go to bed early, they wake up early, they wear flowy organic cotton pants, and only let their hair air dry. None of this is true by the way. This is exactly why a “How To” post on this stuff can’t exist (IMO). When I was younger, I asked one of my mentors, “Is it ok to drink coffee?” She told me to ask Spirit. About a year ago as I was planning my and my husband’s wedding, there were some sacred aspects of our wedding Ceremony that I wasn’t sure about. I asked my aunt for clarity, in which she responded, “Have you asked Creator?” I had not. She told me to pray about it. There’s nothing we need to do, wear, or say in order to be any more or less Spiritual than we are in this very moment.
If we pretend that was step two, I think step three might look like … presence. If getting back on the Spiritual path is as simple as remembering we’re already on it, then I guess we better start paying attention to it. One of my favourite mindfulness quotes from Jon Kabat Zinn is, “Pay attention as if your life depends on it, because it does.” These past four weeks (since I got pulled over by a cop for speeding), I’ve been moving slower than ever, in all areas of life. I’ve noticed that the slower I move, the more present I am and the more profound life has become. Often we’re searching and striving for “more.” What if “more” is truly already here and we just need to be present to it? And how do we do that? We slow down.
After step three, after we slow down, I think maybe we just keep slowing down. I think we just remain in the practice of presence. Maybe that’s step four. I think we treat each day and each moment of life as we would Ceremony, with deep reverence. I believe life is Ceremony. One of the greatest Ceremonies of all, a return to self. There are other Ceremonies, and yes, they serve great purpose in the world. But to walk in a good way every single day, to be in relationship with life, with the things and people who surround us is to be in constant connection with Creator. Maybe it’s not just when we pray, maybe it’s not just when we journal, maybe it’s not just when we attend Ceremonies, maybe it’s not just when we’re “trying” to connect. Maybe it’s when a piece of cookie falls in our coffee, maybe it’s when a flower blows in our way, maybe it’s when the sun sets and the sky turns into the most beautiful gradient of colours, maybe it’s when the clouds form shapes only our deeper parts of self recognize, maybe it’s when a child laughs, maybe it’s when a puppy kisses our cheek, maybe it’s when the crows caw, and the rain pours, and the leaves blow, and the snow falls, and the sun rises, and the moon shines. Maybe that’s it.
If I were to write a “How To” kind of post filled with a list of recommended tangible things you can start doing instantly that will help, this is what I would recommend:
Walk – every single day. Aim for an hour, but if that’s too much, try 45 or 30 minutes. Just start walking, no headphones, no audiobooks, no music or podcasts – just walk. This reminds me, if you’re in Vancouver my friend Trilby (Poetry in Motion) and I are starting a Walking Club in September! Stay tuned.
Slow down. Literally and figuratively in every aspect of life, move slower. In my experience, the slower you move, the more profound life becomes
Practice silence and deep listening. Notice the urge to speak when you’re with others, listen instead, listen to what’s being said, listen to what’s not being said. Listen to your heart beat, listen to your breath, listen to your body and the signals it’s sending you.
Read poetry or some sort of book, article, or passage that speaks to your soul. Read something that sparks something within you that you might not even understand. Honestly, the less you understand the better. Read something you don’t understand or don’t quite grasp but you know it makes you feel something. It might even be part of this post. Screenshot a phrase that brought a deep resonance or spark for you.
Drink water first thing when you wake up in the morning and lots throughout the day.
Write for 15 minutes in the morning without your pen leaving the paper.
Practice gratitude and start noticing the magnificence in the mundane.
I’m sure most of those suggestions don’t feel new and I didn’t really explain when to do what or why exactly I believe all those tactics really work. I’m kind of asking myself why I bothered adding a list like this. I think I added it for my 15-year–old self who would’ve read this post with pure intentions, deep curiosity, not quite grasping what was shared but could feel a strong resonance with the words. She would think, “But how though? Like what do I need to do?” I would smile at her knowing that she will get it one day, but I also know she wouldn’t be satisfied with that answer, so I’d kindly give her this list, and I would say start here, it might help.
A poem by Richard Wagamese:
ME: I can’t seem to get anywhere in my life.
OLD WOMAN: Without Creator. Say what you said again, only add “without Creator” at the end.
ME: I can’t seem to get anywhere in my life without Creator.
OLD WOMAN: Did you hear that? Anytime you’re telling yourself there’s something you can’t do, can’t solve, can’t change, can’t accept, say it out loud and add “without Creator.” Add the same words to all the things you CAN do as well.
ME: I can get anywhere in my life with Creator.
OLD WOMAN: I think you’re getting it, my boy.
Journal prompts:
What word resonates with you the most? Creator, Universe, God, Spirit, Source, the Divine, or anything else I didn’t list.
Is there any particular reason why that word resonates with you the most?
Do any of the words trigger you? If yes, why do you think that might be?
Community questions:
What is one of your takeaways from reading this post?
What is one question or curiosity you have after reading it?
As this little community grows, I would love to connect with all of you more! Anytime I share Journal Prompts or Community Questions I invite you to share an answer in the comments section below. I would love an opportunity to respond to your insights, takeaways, and curiosities. I also think others in the community would enjoy reading what everyone has to share too.
With love and gratitude,
Sam